I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
