Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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