I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
