just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
