she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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