if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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