did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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