Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
bring money and cleavage
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
