I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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