The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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