So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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