We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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