____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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