In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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