i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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