Having a random hookup so left but love u
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
