Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
