All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
