We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
