Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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