I'm going to jail i love you
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
