Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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