I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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