I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm passing your future prison.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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