Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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