i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
