no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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