I'd wear matching sweaters with you
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
