Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
