were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
