I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
