So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
