You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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