I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
dude. I can hear the air.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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