I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
