Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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