i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
