I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
