Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
