from now on my penis is your penis
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
