You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
