some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My feet surprised me
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