uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
