I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
