I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
