i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
