Buhtt sex?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
