That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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