RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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