Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
