white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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