I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
