shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
