Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
