are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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