the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
