But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
