I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
