i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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