i barfeds in our rink
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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